emotions

Today, I'm....

a Sport Psychologist's dream... or nightmare.

I'm experiencing the whole gauntlet of negative emotions. I've been tracking my training against last year's training, which most people would say is a good thing---it's how you learn, how you evolve, get better, etc..

Instead though, what I've found is that my training is inadequate. I'm slower. I'm not hitting big runs.

As a result, today is a day filled with....
Anger...saddness...frustration... and fear.. of being an epic failure in 27 days. The 3:08 hangs above my desk, taunting me. Seeming so utterly out of reach that it is just a tease. Why, should a mediocre runner, with a desire for balance in life (and therefore not making running my be all), even dare to dream these dreams?

The trouble is when you want something so much and it no longer feels possible.... it HURTS.  It hurts BAD.