30 & Grateful

Big Thank You to everyone who made yesterday such a fabulous birthday! Biggest thank you to Matt, who made it a fun day full of surprises and friends!

Highlights of the day include: breakfast in bed, a long run with two former athletes,  a fun SMC basketball game, my brother coming into town, and dinner with great friends. Now I just want to nap!

In preparation for my 30th, I reflected back on past years and how I got to where I am today. In the end, I've put together a list of 30 things that I've learned over the years that I want to pass on here.

30 Things I’ve Learned in 30 Years

1.       I love that my parents did not let me read Seventeen before I was seventeen, or Teen before I was a teen.

2.       People will always be opinionated. Know what opinions matter to you and which are irrelevant. If I listened to everyone’s opinions, I wouldn’t work at Saint Mary’s. Thank you to my parents and John for continually supporting me while I made the tough decision to work crazy hours at multiple jobs to make it by and do what I love, coach.

3.       Change is hard. It is not always fun. It usually makes you a better person though.

4.       Cry. It’s cleansing.

5.       Don’t cry in front of your boss. (unless it’s Julie Schroeder-Biek).

6.       Go on a service trip. A whole trip. Not 2 hours of volunteering. Be amazed at how much your heart can grow.

7.       Frequently I am mistaken for a college student. Most people tell me to consider this a blessing. I see their point, but it’s really hard to be taken seriously or given much credit when people think you are the one being coached, not the coach! Not sure if turning 30 helps, but the grays might!

8.       Girls… get married… don’t get married… whatever you want to do… do it on your time. You’re the only one spending the rest of your life with that person---only do it if you’re ready.

9.       Litmus test for a good man= will he go to the store and buy you feminine products? If yes, keep him!!

10.   Go to the gynecologist. Yes, this is possibly my least favorite thing to do. However, if you want to have babies, healthy bones and live a long time, get ‘er done. Take charge of your health. (Along with this.. you are supposed to have periods… if you’re not---something’s wrong!)

11.   If I had a dollar for every time my dad told me “Life isn’t fair,” to my “It’s not fair!” tirades as a child I could retire tomorrow. As it turns out, per usual, he was right. Life’s not fair. So you figure out how to make it work.

12.   I was a feminist before I knew the word. 

13.   It doesn’t matter how competent I am… if I’m asked to speak in front of a large group of people, I WILL pit out. Look for it and please make a joke. It will make me feel better. Although I have tried to go to all sleeveless options when put in these circumstances.

14.   Respect is earned. For those that choose the, “I’m your elder” route… good luck.

15.   Someone is always worse off than you. Keep it in perspective.

16.   If your parents parent while you are a child, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll be friends when it counts. I’m so thankful for this in my own life.

17.   You can only really help others when you’re ok yourself. Start on the home front, so you can be better for everyone.

18.   One of the lessons at Girls on the Run is illustrated through a tube of toothpaste. Can you put the toothpaste back in once it is squeezed out? Hardly. You can try. It gets messy. Therefore we should only squeeze out what we need when we need it. We need to take the same approach with our words. Be careful with what we say, because once it’s out there, you can’t take it back, try as you might. If you don’t know how you feel about something—wait. Sometimes the damage caused by hurtful words can never be repaired.

19.   I’m not a morning person. At all. However, I have been known to do some major fist pumping to Lady Gaga at 5:15am on the way to morning practices. Just saying, I <3 SMC XC.

20.   Being “little Bauters” was tough. In high school there were the running and academic comparisons; as well as the inability to date certain guys. Today, the only consolation is that I know if I do half of the amount of good in my life as John, I’ll die a happy person. Keep doing what you do best—making the world a better place.

21.   I was sued at 17. We won. There are a lot of life lessons in this one. Unfortunately one is that there are some really awful people out there.

22.   However, I have been blessed with some of the best friends and family a girl could ever ask for. If everything was gone tomorrow, I’d still be one lucky lady.

23.   Exercise. It brings such a genuine clarity of mind. All I need now is a device that I can carry while I run that literally records my thoughts as they free flow. If anyone can create this portable device, count me in! I’m pretty sure I’ve cured cancer, wrote novels, and had general enlightenments on runs that would be noteworthy at this time. However, I find that I return to being a sub-intelligent human being once I stop. At least I know that stuff is still working upstairs…

24.   Success doesn’t come overnight. Success comes from hard work, long hours and learning from failure. Remember that failing is part of the gig. Sometimes it might sting but it makes you stronger.

25.   Cancer is everywhere. I quite possibly will die of cancer. So here is what I say: Live your life. Love what you do. Know that any day it might end.

26.   #25 being said, death sucks. Nothing really ever prepares you for it.

27.   College really is the greatest time of your life! I miss my running buddies to rehash weekends and life problems. I miss ‘tea time’ with the Ireland group. I miss eating tots in the old DH. I miss spending 99% of my waking time with my other half, JB. I miss actively learning.

28.   I strongly believe that you should have to pass a test in order to procreate.

29.   Having your curly and unruly hair (and bangs, mind you) cut on the front porch by your CPA father throughout grade school builds character. That’s what I’m telling myself.

30.   Putting yourself “out there” is scary but such a great learning tool. It makes you stronger. Writing this blog scares the crap out of me. I’ve definitely censored thoughts, reconsidered ideas, and tried to keep my audience in mind for perspective, but ultimately feel like I’m sharing a lot of who I am. If we’re honest with ourselves—I don’t know if we can ask for much more.

There are so many other things I could have included, like some of the quotes to live by... but there is only so much time! Look for more in blogs to come. If you have any 'nuggets of wisdom' that you've gleaned from your experiences... share!

Hills like whoa

Right now I would say my biggest weakness in training is hill work. Why you might ask? Well for many reasons.

1--Have you seen where I live? It's basically a pancake.
2--Have you seen where I live? Pancake-ville.

But seriously... hills are tough. Once you've adapted to them though... they are great. Hills develop strength and speed that would otherwise take a lot of time and energy to acquire... and, if run correctly, hills make you a more efficient runner.

So, living in pancake-ville poses a challenge for Boston training. For those of you that are unfamiliar with Boston's course, it's a straight shot. You start out in Hopkinton and run 26.2 miles to Boston. In the first mile you descend 130 feet. By mile 5 you've run a gradual decline of 310 feet.  I'm sure you're thinking no big deal. Right. However, if you don't run smart on that downhill you will be in a world of pain sooner than expected. And what comes down, must go up? Right? So yes, there is the notorious 'heart break hill' right around the point where most people hit "the wall." Gradually from mile 16 to mile 21 you climb. Then at mile 22 you descend again. Fun!!

Great placement people! So the other joy about training in pancake-ville is that ALL of Boston training takes place in the winter. Yes, you start in Dec/Jan and there is still snow and freezing temperatures through race day. It's South Bend, there has been snow at Easter and graduation before! Awesome. This compounds issue of hill training because you can try to run repeats on the few hills that are accessible, but once the roads and sidewalks are covered in snow and ice, they're out of commission (unless you like splitting things open, being hit by vehicles or general hospitalization).

The only alternative left: the TREADMILL. Ok, if you've never run hills on the treadmill... Try it. It sucks. I'm not being a hater on this... but let's be honest about something... what most* treadmills do is go up... and then they go flat. They don't go down! Hello! Recovery! Learning how to run the downhill! Neither of these things are possible. (*There are decline treadmills, and if I had $5k to just shell out, I would have one in my possession tomorrow. No dice.)

Today I sought out hills. This adds to the total training time. (People wonder why we can't just run anywhere sometimes). Fortunately not far from my house is a neighborhood with rolling hills. Whew! What a great run! Challenging at times (some of these inclines are decent), but also so invigorating! I love running on hills. I love the varying terrain. This is probably one of the reasons I loved Ithaca so much. Everyday was a hill day---and I subsequently was in probably the best shape of my life.

I finished my run feeling accomplished. Satisfied. And desperately needing to roll out... my butt.

One Week...

I'm getting ready to head out the door for my last long run as a 29 year old. Hmm. Not exactly where I would have been at this point: of life, training, etc.. but it's where I am today. Getting ready for a progression long run---I'm sure this would be a favorite for my team :) They love progression runs... ha! I'm pretty excited for besides the fact that the feel like is in the teens... better than single digits but I'm guessing better than slaving away on the treadmill for the third day in a row (single digits and I don't like each other).

I'm not too far off from where I'd hope to be at this point of training. However, I'm no where near where I wanted to be on my fundraising front at this point. There had been some setbacks that were uncontrollable, so now hopefully I can execute my plan and help raise some money for Girls on the Run. We are scheduled to have five sites this spring---one with possibly enough girls to do two sessions! That could mean reaching 90 girls!! It's amazing to think two short years ago we were crossing our fingers that someone would take us in. So the fundraising will begin to help ensure the quality of the program and that are growth continues--at a sustainable rate.

Personally, I wasn't someone that really set age goals when I was young. There was no need to "be married by X" or "have kids by X" or "travel to see X countries before I"m X"... so in many ways, I'm doing ok : )    I was hoping the entering my thirties I would be the healthiest and fittest I've ever been. Well... that's not exactly going to plan...although it's not totally off the mark. What continues to prevent me from achieving these goals is probably one of my biggest challenges in the years to come. Balance. Acknowledging when I need to do things for myself and saying 'no' to other things so I can feel good about myself. Along with that  is the realization that the first step of anything you do is often the hardest to take. As runners we know this... once you're out the door, you're golden. First you need to get out the door.

I'm headed out for a great run to cap off a solid week. Hopefully you won't find a frozen Jackie out on the roads...

Mental Prep

5x4 minutes at half marathon pace, what!? Kicked that workouts' butt and then some! 9 miles indoors today. What do I attribute my success for getting through this painful process (running indoors)? Well, first off yesterday was a day off... so I wanted/needed to run pretty bad. Then, last night there was a lot of self-talk going on. See I'm not a treadmill runner by trade. No siree Bob. However, the feel like is 5 degrees outside right now and it snowed all morning. I had a feeling that a workout outside would be a failure. So last night I sat down and had a little talk with myself (yes I do this and no I'm not medicated). See, while it doesn't always work the way you want it to... giving yourself a pep talk can really get you through it.

I'm going back to my mantra from Boston '07..... I CAN.  I WILL. BELIEVE. I'm throwing the doubter aside... I'm all in people... who's going to Boston with me? Somehow I'm pulling this dream race out in 88 days. BELIEVE with me. Please.

I've been trying to teach this to my team...

Maybe coming from one of the elite will help....

"I constantly remind myself that resting takes confidence. Anyone can train like a mad man but to embrace rest and to allow all the hard training to come out takes mental strength."

 --Ryan Hall, member of the 2012 Olympic Marathon Team

If I were going to give myself some credit, this is a category that I feel like I have earned my "A" in over the years. When I first graduated from college, I felt like I had to run everyday. I felt this way for many reasons: to stay in shape; to stay sane; and to continue to get faster.

It was only after several years of  trying to juggle hard training + long hours + little sleep that I realized you know, this rest stuff really does wonders for you, and it's healthier for me mentally too. Since I'm not training to make an Olympic team, there comes a point where the rest is not only beneficial for your body to make training adaptions but it also keeps running in perspective. While some may think running is my life, I do try to make sure that there is balance. I think before I was in an unhealthy place, needing to run all the time---and like any other addiction, you slowly need more and more to fulfill the craving. I knew I couldn't run more and more... so while I love running, I try to remind myself that the days without running are just as, if not more, important that the days I run. Because if I "miss" running that day, I also know that I'm still doing it because I love it.

So... if you find it 'hard' to take days off.... challenge yourself. If you go 110% everyday... you'll never really know what your 100% looks like on race day.

This week is a 'recovery' week for me... although I don't have much to recover from last week, I had an off day today. I was pretty excited about it. My legs are still feeling the effects of 5k effort in cold rain from yesterday and tomorrow promises to bring another new challenge, intervals at half-marathon effort. I'm hoping to take the 'refresher' from today to tomorrow's workout and kick it's butt. THAT's why I like rest days. It makes me feistier for what lies ahead.

Week 3

SUCKED.

I'm 'hoping' that I was sick... otherwise there just isn't much of an excuse for the poor results. I'm trying to chanel the great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. today, who said,

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

Maybe a stretch to some, but there is nothing comfortable about the last few days of training... so I'm trying to pull myself up by the boot straps and have an awesome week 4. God knows I need it...

Olympic Trials & DIII Pride

OH MAN... can you feel the excitement building!? Tomorrow is the Olympic Trials for the Marathon in Houston, Texas. I SOOO wish I was going to be there... for SO many reasons. Hopefully I can articulate them in an orderly fashion...

First let's start with this. I was at the 2008 Trials in Boston. It was amazing. Here are the insanely fast times that must be met to QUALIFY for the trials:


The Women's Standards
A-Standard (trip to the Trials is paid)
Marathon - 2:39:00 and under .... or the equivalent of a 6:03 pace for 26.2 miles
B-Standard
Marathon - 2:39:01-2:46:00 .... so the 'slowest' pace to qualify is roughly a 6:20 for 26.2 miles to qualify
Half Marathon - 1:15:00 and under
10,000M - 33:00 and under

First, put that in perspective. I would be sufficiently happy if I could run a 6:03 for a 5k! Which is an 18:47!
So it might not be in the cards for me during this lifetime, but there are some pretty freakin' awesome women that can rock it--and it is phenomenal to watch.

While in Boston for the '08 Trials there were two things that were particularly sweet. One, Joan Benoit Samuelson, the first woman to ever win the Olympic Marathon in LA (1984) was in the race.

 At age 50, she ran a 2:49 marathon that day. This woman is the real deal, just a gem. It was truly inspiring.

The second thing that made that day so incredible was being able to watch Deena Kastor come down the last stretch and win the trials. While I don't closely 'follow' the upcoming fields reguarly, I've always really enjoyed watching Deena and love to see her succeed. While this isn't the greatest picture, this is how close I was to the #1 woman that April day.


Deena 2008 Trials

After being there to experience the '08 trials, I really wished I could make it to the 2012 trials in Houston, especially after I heard who was going to be in the field. While there are numerous veterans and favorites, what I am possibly most excited about is to see one of SMC's former competitors toe the line. 2008 Case Western graduate, Esther Erb, qualified for the trials by running a 2:39. It was only her second marathon... and her first was a 2:46:15... just beyond the qualifying standard. While she may have been our competition, you can't help but love Esther. She was a joy to watch as a collegiate runner and I am filled with so much Division III pride as she heads to Houston. For more on Ester, check out this article featured in Running Times magazine: http://runningtimes.com/Article.aspx?ArticleID=22337

So what is even crazier about Esther going to the trials? Well, how about that she finished just 20 seconds ahead of our very own SMC stud, Megan Gray, in the 2007 NCAA Championship XC meet!? Maybe for those that haven't had the joy of meeting/knowing Megan, it will put in perspective her athletic accomplishments as a student-athlete. She has and always will be a Hall of Famer in my book--so I hope she makes it there soon.

As for the trials, they run at 8:00/8:15 tomorrow morning but the video will be aired on NBC from 3:00-5:00 Saturday afternoon. While the field is around 150+ women, there are a few who I'm pulling for (besides Esther). I really like Desiree Davila from Michigan, who just barely finished in second at Boston this year. She is a gutsy girl, who has the fastest posted time in the field, running a 2:22. And while I know there are others that are gunning for it... I would love to see Deena make one more Olympics. She's coming off of having a baby and posted a qualifying time, but I'm sure it wasn't even close to where she could be at today. A lot of people are wondering if Magdalena will be in the top three... you'll have to tune in to find out! Regardless, it's going to be a fun race to watch---with the top dogs vying for a position on the Olympic Team. Pretty incredible...

Epic Fail

I almost should have never started the workout for today. I wasn't ready for it. Mentally I was tired, frustrated and unfocused. Instead of knowing that it probably just wasn't in the cards I went for it. My next sign was how tough the warm up was for me. I'm pretty sure my last three days were a little harder than intended and didn't help prepare me for today either. Lesson learned, again.

But now I have to deal with the fact that I bailed mid-workout. It was devastating. I'm devastated. Stepping off the treadmill, I felt broken and the thoughts flooded my mind. What am I doing? Is this goal too ambitious? How in the heavens can I do these things when I can't do a week three workout? It's not a good place to be.

I always try to keep things in perspective but sometimes it's just hard. I've had a few challenging situations that I've needed to work through as of late. The energy that they've required has left me drained and not sleeping. But there are no excuses and that's why it feels like an epic fail.

Marathoner and Olympic hopeful, Desiree Davila says, "Running is just you, the work you put in, and the clock. You can't cheat yourself. If you don't put in the miles, you can't go to the starting line thinking you're going to pull a miracle out of nowhere. You get out exactly as much as you put in."

The problem is, I couldn't agree more, and feel like I'm up a creek right now.
So I'm trying to focus on finishing up this week strong with a solid long run.
Man I wish I was anywhere but South Bend with 10" of snow headed my way...

Hmmm

So... As Becca said today, "you're on a roll this week."

Watch out world, I'm fired up. Hopefully this will translate into an amazing workout tomorrow--I'm going to need it. This week has ignited some fires in me...

Goals

One of the reasons that I decided to start this blog and put myself out there. It's been a little frightening...but really motivating and exciting. So the journey continues.....

"If we write our dreams and goals down, we dramatically increase our odds of realization. If we share them with others, they become potent and alive."

-Kristin Armstrong-

Phone calls

As I've entered adulthood I've found myself less inclined to pick up the phone.. Theories still lurk as to why... Despite my apparent aversion, I love talking to people. Today I received a call from an old friend, from Ithaca, and couldn't have been happier.

One thing I love is regardless of the amount that passed since you've seen someone, it feels like you saw them yesterday. My former sport psych classmate and I talked about running, work, life... It put a smile on my face. :)

Its energizing to really get into the meat of issues and talk so honestly about things I'm enthusiastic about. It also provided an opportunity to expand my vision for myself professionally, which is exciting to consider.

Ahhh not a lot to say... Just really happy to have the privilege of knowing so many wonderful people over the years. It was a nice change of pace... Especially since I was having mega knots of bone like strength rolled out in my calves right before receiving the call. Phew... Took me out of that pain!

Double digits

99 days until Boston.

Just saying....

Week 2

The week was full of unseasonably warm temperatures, which made for some pleasant training runs.

Doing lunges and squats on Tuesday left the legs SORE for the rest of the week. Necessary evils. Ha!

Nailed the tempo workout Thursday and was really impressed. Made me wonder what kind of 5k I could put out in the next four weeks just on marathon training.

Friday was like 50 degrees and sunny. Awesome--when you're not an over zealous runner. Proved to be a bad combo for the quads on a supposed easy day before my long run. Eeek.

Hardest long run in the past month. My body just never felt relaxed or comfortable. Was really looking forward to running the upper end of my time goal but had to hit the minimum and stop, just too much pain.

40 miles for the week. Not bad for the second week. Made two new meals from my new cookbook, The Athlete's Palate Cookbook. Check it out! Making Deena Kastor's "marathon fettuccine in charred tomato sauce & shrimp" tomorrow. Yum!

Ended the week with a celebration for all the women of Girls on the Run Michiana. It was so great to see these amazing women and keep me on track.

words to the wise

"We find time for the things that are important to us. Period."

--Scott Douglas

.....Conquering my workout in t-20 minutes.

Week 1-- success

Its been a crazy few weeks with travel, the holidays, and the official start to Boston training.

The first week was awesome.

In my six training days I had four different running partners to help me log my miles.

I was fortunate enough to run with one of my former athletes, who converted to the sport in college, and ran her first marathon this fall in Boston qualifying time! She was kind enough to tackle workout #2 of training--so much better than flying solo. Thank you Becca! Please continue to virtually train with me...and get together for runs when possible :)

Christy helped me through recovery miles. Matt and Cole helped set the pace for my long run by running the first three miles with me.

As much as I've embraced being a solo runner, sharing the road is one of the things I enjoy most about the sport.

Surrounded by family and friends for the past week, I feel rejuvenated and even more focused on the challenge that lies ahead.