Choices...and finding the "right" answer

Yesterday one of my athletes came in to talk to me. After a few minutes, she shared how distraught she felt over a recent decision--which required choosing between some family time and school work. Visibly upset, I tried to empathize with her. The only solace I could offer though is the decision has been made, and now you just need to move forward with that choice.

After talking with her I headed out for my workout and thought a lot about what she was going through. Being comfortable with the decisions you make is easier said than done. As you get older, there are more decisions to make. The choices carry a little more weight.

I've actually been thinking about this a lot recently. This past weekend after my long run I felt a little down. I started reflecting on my training--the past 13 weeks and beyond. My conclusion: I could have done more. I could have cross-trained more to be fitter. I could have lifted more to be stronger. I could have done more hills to be more prepared for the race course. These were all decisions that I had along the way but as I sulked, I had to be ok with my choices. And after my 10 minutes of pouting, I did feel ok about my choices.

Why don't I train more? Harder? Longer? I'll tell you. Somewhere along the way to becoming who I am today, I decided that I wanted a 'balanced' life. For me that means being able to spend time with my family and friends, working my odd hours, and being involved in the community---while maintaining a good relationship with exercise and running specifically. So while my day is often arranged best as possible around my running (nutrition, sleep, weather make for scheduling better running times), it is not the end all.

In fact, why I was so bummed on Saturday after my run was because my training partner was sharing how much time and effort she had put into her training and it made mine feel sub-par. It's hard to remind yourself that everyone is different and has different capacities and abilities. It worked for her---but for my training time to increase it would probably mean I was sacrificing somewhere else in my life.

The hard lesson is finding what is "right" for you. There is no right or wrong. For the people that make running their life---I'm jealous, in a way. I tell myself that if I were able to give that time and devotion to training, I could be even better than I am today. Unfortunately, I don't see that happening. Largely, because I do work hard now and know that my other responsibilities and interests take up so much time that something else would have to give to actually be successful. So it works for some and I need to live with my choices.

I don't regret the choices I've made. I have phenomenal friends and family and I couldn't imagine not spending time with them. I have a team that I love to work with and wish I could be with more often. It's just hard to imagine that I haven't tapped all my potential because of my choices---not because I'm unable.

And... well life is funny... your choices will always change. You will graduate from college and not have to worry about picking studying over something else. There will be phases where some things need to come to the forefront and others need to sit on the back burner.

Ultimately though.... isn't it pretty damn good to have choices?? I'd say so.